21 thoughts every girl has while Tindering

Tinder? Completed it mate.

No seriously though I feel I could write a novel on Tinder that would make Ulysses look like a quick read. Whether you’ve been on Tinder for yeeears or maybe just had a quick go at your friends Tinder you’re sure to relate to the following..


1. Cute dog Tom, well played, can I match with dogs? Is there an app for that?

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2. Ooooooh hellooo Ed. Nice smile. There’s Ed in Sydney I wonder how long he was in Oz for. There’s Ed & his pals, great they all look normal. Oh Ed played county, looks well in his jersey…  Ugh a mirror selfie, you were doing so well Ed..

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3. Did I miss the Tinder field trip to Machu Picchu?

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4. 6’1, 5’11, 6’4.. Ok so I also missed the Tinder height requirement field apparently.
Should I list my height? What height even am I? Do they want cm or ft? DAD.. Where’s the measuring tape??

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5. “Seeking little spoon”
Try the top drawer Rob, left of the oven, usually there beside the knives.

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6.  “Rodger, in town till Thursday looking for a Tour guide”
Nice try Rodger get yourself down to O’Connell St and hop on the Viking Splash like everyone else, ya chancer.

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7. Top off selfie.. Nope.

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8. An Anchorman quote.. Wow, that’s original, and so audience appropriate too…

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9. “Must like burritos”… Ok calm down there Pablo, Boojum is not a religion.

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10. Oh I see what you’re doing here Alan, yeh include those photos with your hot friend so I think he’s you..

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11. Well there’s a kid. Is that his kid? Maybe it’s his nephew, or his brother..
Why hasn’t he clarified the ownership of the child anywhere?… I could be a step mom.

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12. Tom, 31, Web Developer… So essentially you’re a spider..
*laughs at own joke for unreasonable length of time*

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13.  Who’s she?  She looks like a girlfriend, why would he have pictures of an ex?
They’re probably friends…. Nope there she is again… Maybe she’s his sister…

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14. Yeh sure just list generic objects and activities with some emojis. Sure if you can’t summarise yourself in 6 to 8 emoji’s do you even know who you are?

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15. Left, Left, Left, Left, Fuck!.. He was hot.

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16. “Congratulations, You have a new match”..
Better check what my profile looks like… again.

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17. One picture? That’s a nope from me Mark… If that’s even your real name.

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18. Listen Niall you’re pushing a weak 6, those rules in your bio are far too ballzy for a weak 6.

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19. Ok seriously what is a hedge fund?

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20. Ah, a sedated Lion, nice..

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21. Dan, 29, Full time mad bast… Nope.

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Hope you enjoyed!

Let me know if I forgot any in the comments below or on the Instagram @cmeretillitellyou

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